To my unborn children...

I have children who have never felt sun warm their chubby little faces.  I have children in whose eyes I will never watch the light of excitement blaze wildly. There are only imagined giggles and belly laughs for some of my beloved little ones.  There are days when I look at my table heavily weighted with kids and wonder how they would have fit in with everyone else, their personalities and resemblances.  They are missed with deep aches which only a mother can feel.

Today I had to tell my children that some very close friends of ours are divorced, watching Evy in particular as her heart is fragile.  Looking in to those innocent questioning eyes....What's up Mom? they ask as she waits for my news. The innocence of a child, the wonder the trust almost dauntingly they piercing my heart.  As I told her I witnessed in those hazel eyes a little tiny death of some of that innocence.  Now filled with tears.....overflowing with tears she hugs me and cries and asks why.  This mother's heart of mine breaking as I walk in others' sin taking a toll on my innocent child.  Watching her try to comprehend that this world is not as she thought is was this morning......how can that be?  Knowing, as a 40 year old woman who has lived 40 solid years, that this is the beginning of many more disappointments due to the great net sin casts. I know this is motherhood and ease will never come, watching your children learn the devastation sin causes especially when its theirs. All we can do is know for certain that we are broken, but perfectly redeemed and praise Him for who He is.

So I rejoice that I have children who will never know the sting of death.  My heart praises the Lord that He made some of my children for His enjoyment solely.  My babes sit in the presence of the most Holy God with no idea of sin and the trail of destruction it leaves. How blessed am I to be the mother of these....